Who am I?
I am you & you are me ❤
I am Sarah Jean Keller.
I am a mother of four awesome kids.
I am wife to my twin flame.
I am a Certified Reiki Master/Teacher,
Certified Integrated Energy Therapy® Practitioner,
& Certified Subconscious Reprogrammer.
I am also an intuitive empath with the gifts of claircognizance,
clairsentience, clairvoyance, & clairaudience.
I have developed a technique that allows people to heal themselves
with subconscious reprogramming
and I want to teach everyone how to do it!
I recently heard a quote by Theodore Roosevelt that really touched me.
I guess the reason it struck me the way it did was because I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t need to put myself “out there”. I was hoping I wouldn’t need to talk about myself. But, it makes sense. You don’t know me. You don’t know if I am worthy of your trust, or your faith. You don’t know if I am a bullsh** artist just trying to sell a course full of “fluff”.
So, let me tell you about why I am here. Let me tell you how much I care.
As a child, I was always a little “different”. Nowadays, they would have diagnosed me as having Asperger’s. Back then, about 30 years ago, I don’t believe they diagnosed anyone with that, let alone girls. Girls were a lot less recognized as having Aspergers until somewhat recently. We are too good at being “chameleons”. We study our environment & adapt… as much as possible.
I always instinctively understood human behavior. I saw the underlying reasons for most issues. I knew the school bully was just insecure. I knew the addict was just lonely and trying to fill the void. I could listen to people talk and know what they REALLY meant, so I was pretty good at being a mediator between friends who were arguing. I knew things. I thought everyone knew these things, too.
As I grew up, I watched my schoolmates, my friends, my parents, sabotage their lives over & over & over. They didn’t see the patterns. They couldn’t see that all the pain was created because of their choices. I thought they didn’t care. I began “hating” people, which I realized was me actually being upset that I cared so much more about their lives than they did. It just made me angry that they didn’t care. Knowing all of this also made me so lonely.
In middle school, I realized that I could feel other people’s emotions. I actually wrote a poem about it, too, which I WISH I could find now. Back then, I had never heard about empaths. My mom always just called me super sensitive, which she meant in a negative way. She was dealing with her own issues. Mood disorders like depression & anxiety & pain that was later diagnosed as fibromyalgia among many other diagnoses. I never felt her physical pain, just her emotional pain & I still cry about it now as I remember it (she passed away about 8 months ago).
By 13 years old, I wanted to die. I didn’t really want to commit the act of suicide, but I told my mom that I needed help because I just did not want to live anymore & I thought about it constantly. I saw a psychologist for a little while, which didn’t help. I still wanted to die. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that was always in the back of my mind… about one day finding someone who understood me and the family we would create together. I believed it so much I could almost see it. I knew I could feel it… and that made me keep trying.
During that time, I learned to block out everyone else’s emotions and my own with alcohol. Yup. I was so young, but I was in so much emotional pain. The alcohol worked though, for a while. I was able to be “normal”. I felt like I had to dumb myself down to be able to go to school and sit there for 8 hours, not being a productive member of society, not helping my mom. I had to shut off my brain. I had to numb myself to survive.
At 15, I told my mom that if I couldn’t get into a smaller high school, I was going to drop out as soon as I turned 16. I told her that my high school was too big, there were too many people & it was just too hard to deal with everyone’s pain. Luckily, I was able to transfer. But, I still couldn’t cope. When drinking wasn’t enough, I started smoking pot. I could out drink and out smoke anyone I knew at that point. That same year, I moved out of my parents’ house and into my boyfriend’s parents’ house. The toxicity level was much lower there.
At 17, in my senior year, I started skipping classes so I could smoke pot during the school day, too. I was seeing another psychologist during this time and he was trying to sort out my “depression”. One of my low points was a day that I skipped class with a friend and we walked over to our local zoo to smoke. I realized, while being completely stoned, that I was supposed to see my shrink after school to take an IQ test. I felt like the biggest loser. I had to fake having some kind of allergic reaction to explain my eyes being red. During the whole session, I had to remember to itch my eyes once in awhile to keep up with my lie.
I did really well on the test, though, & I don’t know, to this day, if it was BECAUSE I smoked that day. Lol. I did let that test number sink in, though. I allowed myself to understand my brain. I let myself feel special.
It wasn’t long after that I realized that the people in my life just couldn’t see what I saw. I realized that I was expecting too much. Each of us has our own unique gifts, though. So, as I learned to forgive myself for all the ways I was not perfect, I learned to forgive everyone else, too.
By 18, I had set up my own pattern. I was drinking, smoking pot, hanging out with the same friends who were always trying to get me to do more drugs. They even talked me into doing coke for a little while, but I couldn’t afford it, so it didn’t last long.
My turning point was when I was sitting in a parked car with my fiance doing “whip-it’s”, which was nitrous oxide in balloons… better known as “laughing gas”. I had an out-of-body experience where I was floating above the car looking down to my body which was sitting in the car. I thought to myself “what the f*** am I doing? This is not who I want to be. This is NOT who I am!” It was so powerful & so true. I was hiding.
After that, I slowly tried to dig myself out of the mess I had created. I slowed the drinking, I stopped doing drugs, & I tried to get my fiance to do the same.
By 19, when I realized we were no longer compatible, I called off our wedding, which was scheduled for just 3 months away. I was actually scared out of my mind that I would cave in & go back to him because it would have been easier. But, when I imagined building my life with him & having children with him, I also always imagined our divorce and how hard it would be. That gave me the strength to leave then instead of later. That insight also helped me to explain to him that he deserved someone that loved him more than I did.
Since I was living with him, I had to find a new place to live. I couldn’t live with my parents because that would be too emotionally exhausting, so I rented a small efficiency apartment, the size of an economy hotel room. It was perfect.
I stopped hanging out with the friends I had been hanging out with for so long, too.
Through all of this mess, while growing up, I always had a job. As soon as I was 13, I got a job. I think it was probably more about getting out of the house then it was about money. So, by the time I was out on my own, I could afford it. I didn’t make much, but it was enough.
Taking control of my life and facing the uncertainty with faith was so empowering. I almost felt bad that I didn’t miss anyone. I felt bad that I had hurt them all by leaving, but I was finally free.
I enjoyed being alone. I enjoyed not being influenced by other people. I enjoyed not feeling everyone else’s “crap”. I felt that I was on the right track. I didn’t know where my life would lead me, but I wasn’t looking back!
Just a few short months later, I met a guy. While dating, I remember telling him “this is my time to work on myself. We are not in a “relationship”. I don’t need that right now.”
Not long after that, I was in love. Lol. It wasn’t like any love I had ever had before.
It wasn’t the “oh, I feel bad for you, so I’ll stay” kind of love.
It wasn’t the “your a good guy, so I guess that’s the best I can hope for” kind of love.
It wasn’t the “I’m lonely, so I need you” kind of love, either.
It was raw & real. It was a blessing and a curse. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had found my twin flame. He was a mirror to all of the things I needed to heal within myself & I was his mirror, too. Even with all of the ups & downs, we married after 2 years, had 4 children, and we just had our 16th wedding anniversary.
Life is not perfect and even though I haven’t touched drugs since I was 18, I still struggled with not being like everyone else (like a lot of people do). I didn’t have any real friends. It was too hard. I can’t sit around complaining about everything all of the time & that’s what most people in my life did. I was always looking for solutions, looking for ways to make things better. No one wanted to hear solutions, they always just wanted to vent without changing anything. So, I was left feeling angry when people would repeat the same things over & over & expect a different result. I would once again be the one who cared more about their life than they did. That’s how it always felt anyway. (If you get my course, you’ll learn how having these kinds of “relationships” says more about what needed to be healed within me then it did about those people.)
Through it all, though, my husband was always there to see the light when all I could see and feel was darkness. He would help me see my strengths when all I saw was weakness. He was the reflection of the deeply buried faith that I had hiding within myself (which I later learned how to unbury).
With all of that being said, my life in a little nutshell, if I didn’t do subconscious reprogramming on myself, writing this “Who Am I” post would have been more difficult than creating my entire course. I had every belief about not wanting to be seen & not wanting to be heard. I had beliefs about not being good enough & about being misunderstood. I had fears about being myself, fears about connecting with people, fears about success, and fears about all of the changes that each of these things would bring to my life. I had traumas from feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. I had traumas from speaking my truth. I was stuck. I was frustrated. I was full of pent-up creativity that manifested itself as anxiety. I needed a new solution for myself.
That’s when I found energy healing and I felt that I was on the right path. With the encouragement of my husband, while homeschooling the kids, I set out on my newly discovered path to learn more. I took 5 energy healing courses & my mind & heart were definitely opening and having fun. But, I knew that this type of healing was just a stop on my path & not the final destination.
Then I found subconscious reprogramming and all of the pieces fit together. All of a sudden I realized why I had always seen the patterns, why I understood the underlying causes of behaviors, and why I always cared so deeply – because I am here to help people. This is my purpose. I am not just supposed to suffer while I watch everyone else suffer, I am supposed to help. And now I know the way to do that- subconscious reprogramming. I took 4 courses and devoured every bit of the information I could get relating to reprogramming. It was like a light went on in my brain & everything just made sense. It also gave me the insight to understand why I struggled through so many different kinds of issues (too many to write about here)- it was so I could have a deeper understanding and relate to more people.
The chakra card that I pulled for myself which accurately expressed what was going on was “Recovery”: turning my experiences into the key that unlocks the door to my future
With this new-found awareness, I made it my mission to help myself first so I could help others. With the reprogramming, I have upgraded every single area of my life. It’s not “perfect”, but it is SO darn good and continually improving. I am grateful for the lessons and the blessings.
One of the most noticeable blessings that have come out of deleting limiting beliefs is my new perspective of people. I see the light within others where I used to only see darkness. I used to expect to be let down by people & that’s the kind of experience I would have. I was always being hurt in one way or another, intentionally & unintentionally. I really did close my heart for a long time. But now, even if I am being let down, it doesn’t hurt so bad, because I see that there is soo much good hiding right below the surface. I feel so connected to people now & it is so easy to help them from my heart. I finally felt that I COULD help. I could use what I knew, saw, & felt, to help others see & feel that light within themselves. My purpose is to help people see what I see in their hearts, to love themselves as much as I love them, to love their lives as much as I do ❤
When I was ready, I started to work with family and then with clients, connecting to their energy, & deleting & creating beliefs, and clearing traumas for them. The life changes have been inspiring. I feel like I get to constantly watch miracles happening. Not the kind of “money falling from the sky miracles”, but real shifts in relationships, health, spirituality, money issues, you name it.
But one thing that kept coming up for me was that my clients needed me to do the work for them. This just wasn’t sitting right with me. I could feel that sense of “need”. It wasn’t a good feeling at all. They deserved more than this. I wanted them to feel empowered and confident. I wanted them to be able to have the privacy they needed, too. I even directed people to the courses I took, but they said they wanted to learn from me. I took this as a sign, for sure. I never took the certification to teach what I had learned, so I prayed for a different way, a way that could be my own, to teach people how to reprogram themselves, which they could also use to help their families and maybe even clients. The Universe responded with a technique and with the business info to get it out there to even more people! That’s the kind of stuff that happens when you create the belief “I believe in miracles” in your subconscious 😉
That technique is what I teach in my “Learn To Reprogram Yourself!” course.
I have MANY ideas in my back pocket for all of the different digital programs I will be creating to help people with so many different issues. I hope you check back often to see what I have added. Or, better yet, make sure you sign up to get my free Ebook, and you will always be “in the loop” when I release a new program.
And that leads us to the here and now. The only time that matters. I am continually moving forward, surrendering to Divine flow, & following my heart. I hope you can do the same. ❤
With so much love and blessings,
Sarah Jean Keller ❤
I LOVE children’s movies!
The quote above comes from “Kung Fu Panda” – one of my favorites 🙂